Rad Advice: Is Sex Worth The Wait?

dear bj,

i don’t know how to say this so i’m just gonna put it out there.  i’m a virgin. that’s right i’ve never had sex. a long time ago i decided to wait for the right person. now there’s this really cute guy and he just can’t seem to keep his hands off me. we haven’t actually gone all the way but i know we will soon unless i say no. but part of me feels like i’m betraying myself. what should i do?

-unsure

Dear Unsure,

It sounds like you’re wavering a little about this, which is a good thing… you’re showing your intelligence by thinking through the situation beforehand. It’s true that at the moment your cute guy is breathing down your neck, it’s not easy to say, “Hey — can we put this on hold while I think through it a little?”

But thinking through it is exactly what you need to do. Before you get into things, sit down and ask yourself questions like, what made you wait until now to have sex? Could there be a part of your heart that is whispering that sex is special? Are you worried about pregnancy or STD’s? Or are you waiting for the right person to come along?

I know what it’s like to wait for the right person. It isn’t easy… I found my right guy at age 22. Yes, people will laugh when I say that my boy and I were virgins until we were married. But we’ve never regretted waiting for each other. (It wasn’t easy — let me tell ya.)

When we’re together, we’re not thinking of other experiences we’ve had with other people; we’re not making comparisons; we’re not remembering regrets. We ARE thanking God that He put it in our hearts to share this gift with just each other.

I can tell you from experience that you won’t regret waiting. To help you stay strong, here are some tips:

• Set clear boundaries for yourself and your boy, letting him know exactly what they are, and what will happen if he crosses them (i.e. – you will leave the scene)
• Choose purity until you marry the guy God has for you (you can visit www.truelovewaits.com for more info)
• Share your decision with others who will support and help you

I’d also love to hear from you or anyone who wants to know more. Thanks for writing!

BJ

PS – For all my friends out there, it’s never too late to choose purity, no matter what our pasts look like… our hearts and our choices can change. For advice or resources, visit RealTeenFaith.com.

(Reprinted from RealTeenFaith.com)