We all know that fluttery feeling that comes with having someone like you. You spend time analyzing his text messages. Is there a hidden meaning? You check his social media profiles. Is that cute girl he’s friends with his ex?
It’s exciting when a guy likes us back! But before you jump into a relationship, you need to think about your relationship boundaries.
When it comes to setting boundaries, everyone has a different idea of what healthy boundaries are in a dating or courting relationship. As Christians, we should strive to reflect a life that honors Christ. That includes who we date and what we do with that person.
Have you ever found yourself asking these questions?
- Is it ok to date someone who is not a Christian?
- Is it ok to kiss or not?
- Should I be alone with my boyfriend?
Maybe you have found yourself in some sticky situations before or maybe you’re not interested in a relationship. Whatever phase you are at, it’s never too early to begin deciding your boundaries.
If you wait to try and figure it out as you go, you’ll find yourself making choices based off of emotions and not the standards we find in the Bible. I encourage you to take time to set boundaries that you will live by when it comes to dating.
What Are You Worth?
Worth is defined as excellence of character or quality that commands esteem. Excellence of Character. As you think of boundaries for dating, keep those words in the back of your mind; “excellence of character”.
Philippians 4:8 tells us to, meditate on what is true, noble and pure. God’s standard should be the guide we use to determine what is true, noble and pure. Our thoughts, words and actions should honor God.
By setting “pre-determined” boundaries, you are choosing to protect your heart, mind and soul. Doing this will enable you to stand against lustful thoughts, physical temptation and other lures that can tempt you to sin. Let the “excellence of your character” be a direct refelction of what His Word says.
What To Ask Before You Date
Learning to be PROACTIVE rather than REACTIVE takes intentional effort. Here are some questions to ask before you date him:
1. Does the person you want to date profess to be a Christian?
2. Have you sought the advice of a trusted Christian adult?
3. Does the person you want to date help and encourage you to grow in your relationship with God? And will you do the same for him?
4. Do you feel comfortable praying together?
5. Do you feel you have to pretend to be someone else around him?
6. Have you discussed physical boundaries together and mutually agreed upon them?
7. Are you both content spending time together with a group – or do you feel a pull to be alone?
Do you know your worth? The reality is that Christ determined your worth at the cross. Christ claimed you as His own. You are worth more than precious stones, so do not sell yourself short.
Let this truth be your foundation. Make sure you know WHOSE you are and what you are WORTH and then protect your heart by setting God honoring boundaries!
1 Timothy 4:12: Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.
Image courtesy of: Stuart Miles